


Always

by digthewriter



Series: The Canon!AU Challenge [13]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Episode: s01e04 The Poisoned Chalice, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Magic, No major warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2018-12-29 16:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12089301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digthewriter/pseuds/digthewriter
Summary: Why do you care so much? The boy is just a servant.The question haunted Arthur for days. Eventually, he had to find the answer.





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** Angst.  
>  **A/N:** Thanks to my wonderful alpha and beta. All the remaining mistakes are mine.  
>  **Disclaimer:** Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.

_Why do you care so much? The boy is just a servant._

 

The question haunted Arthur for days. Yes, he had disobeyed his father because a man's life was at stake. Merlin's life. Arthur didn't even have to think twice before he'd gone off to save Merlin. 

Still, there was something about his journey he could never explain. It'd felt like Merlin had been there with him. He felt like he had always been there. Merlin's voice was there guiding him. It was a warm feeling, comfort, strength, and…love. 

_Love_? Could he call it that? Did Arthur even know love? He only knew honour, duty, and disappointment. Disappointment was something Uther had shown him. Duty and honour was something that was expected by his men. 

But when he was alone, afraid of losing his life, afraid of losing his mission. Afraid of losing Merlin. 

He'd felt love. 

 

"Why did you save my life?" Arthur asked. 

"Why did you save mine?" Merlin asked. 

Arthur raised an eyebrow. Did Merlin continually have to be so difficult? 

"You know as your master, I can simply command you to tell me." 

Merlin threw his head back and laughed. Arthur's gaze fell on his neck. He found himself so intrigued with the way the cleft in Merlin's throat bobbed and the way his shoulders shook. Had he always been this beautiful? 

Arthur didn't say anything. He waited. He'd learned a long time ago that if he simply remained quiet, he commanded a sort of presence that made his knights drop to their knees. Merlin would be no different. When Merlin's laugh died off, Arthur held his gaze. He remained expressionless. Finally, it was Merlin who broke the silence. 

"You are my prince, Arthur. My future King. It's my duty to save you." 

"You were an idiot to drink out of the goblet," Arthur said. 

"It was my duty." 

"You could have let me die." 

"Please tell me you're joking, Arthur. How could you even think that?" Merlin walked away before Arthur had a chance to respond. 

There was that feeling again. The feeling of belonging he only felt around Merlin. He'd foolishly thought it was love, but it was simply loyalty. Merlin was loyal to Arthur, he was loyal to Camelot. Nothing more. 

 

It'd been weeks since Arthur's return from the Forest of Balor, but the dreams hadn't stopped. 

_Merlin drinking from the goblet even though Arthur begged him not to. At times, Arthur had yanked the goblet away from Merlin's hands and threw it on the floor, still, Merlin would die. He'd die either from a spell, or from the sword wielded by Uther himself._

_Arthur could never save him._

"Are you all right, sire?"

Arthur had just woken from one of his usual nightmares, hot and sweaty, as Merlin looked down at him with worried eyes. 

"Can I do anything, Arthur?" 

"No, it's fine, Merlin," Arthur said, dismissively. He wasn't entirely sure why but he felt very cross with Merlin. No matter what Arthur would do, Merlin would die. Because Merlin never listened. 

"I…" Merlin began to say but cut himself off. "Very well, if there's nothing else, sire. I shall retire for the night. I’ll ask Gaius to brew you a potion to help you sleep." With a nod, Merlin retreated. 

Arthur wanted to stop him, but what would he have said? _No, Merlin, don't go. I need you._

Those words had been on the tip of his tongue for so long, yet, they would never leave him. He could never reach out and let Merlin know of how he thought of him. 

He wasn't sure himself when these feelings had surfaced, so much so, that they were constantly there. Haunting Arthur. Merlin's presence tormenting him, and the nightmares of Merlin's death agonising him. They hadn't known each other for a very long time, but the pull Arthur felt towards Merlin wouldn't release him easily. 

As Merlin reached the door, Arthur sighed. "I need _you_." 

"What?" Merlin asked, his voice sounding confused and surprised. "Arthur, did you…did you say something." 

"I need you to stop trying to kill yourself," Arthur said. That was close enough. 

"It's not like I do it on _purpose_ ," Merlin said. He pulled back the drapes on Arthur's bed and looked at him. "It isn't exactly a picnic for me, either." 

_Then why do you put yourself in danger for me? Answer me that, Merlin._

Merlin released an exasperated sigh and stayed there. Evidently, it was time for him to be all quiet and stoic and wait for Arthur to say something. 

Arthur didn't. Eventually, he rolled over and closed his eyes. He'd no idea how long it'd taken him to fall asleep, or how long Merlin had stood there, waiting. But when Arthur woke up in the morning, Merlin was gone. 

 

"I wish you'd just tell me what was wrong." 

Arthur looked up from his meal at Merlin who was looking at him expectantly. "Why would something be wrong? We have a long day ahead." 

"Of course, sire. I'll get back to Gaius then before we are off." 

"Merlin…"

"Yes, Arthur." 

"You promise to be careful on this journey?" 

"Of course, Arthur." 

"Promise. Promise you won't do anything stupid." 

Merlin didn't say anything. Arthur pushed his chair back and stood up. When Merlin still didn't move or speak, he closed the distance between them. When he was chest to chest with Merlin, Arthur felt Merlin's breath on him. It was rapid, as if Merlin was nervous. Arthur didn't think he'd ever seen Merlin nervous. 

"Promise…" 

"I can promise you that I'll do anything for you, Arthur." 

"For the love of—" Arthur grabbed Merlin by the back of his neck and pulled him even closer. "You're so infuriating," he said before he pressed his lips against Merlin's and kissed him. 

At first, Merlin had stood still, but slowly, his arms came around Arthur's waist and held him tight. He kissed Arthur back before letting out a small moan, parting his lips, and allowing Arthur to slide his tongue in. 

The noise sent a jolt straight to Arthur's groin. He reckoned they weren't going to take this journey today, after all. 

 

"There was a light that guided me, and I associated that light with you. I wanted that light to be you. Is that mad? Am I going mad?" 

"No, Arthur. Of course not!" Merlin said, kneeling down so he could be face-to-face with Arthur. "You saved my life and I will forever be grateful. I only live to serve you." 

"Well, in that case, I hope you plan to live forever," Arthur said, amusement returning in his tone. 

"Prat," Merlin said, pushing on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur grabbed Merlin's wrist and twisted it, suddenly, wishing he could do more. " _Ow_ , let go." 

"No," Arthur said, smiling. He pulled on Merlin's arm so Merlin lost his balance and landed, rather ungracefully, on top of Arthur. "I don't think I'm ever going to let you go." 

Arthur twisted Merlin around and trapped him under his own body. Merlin was resisting but there was a smile that didn't falter. He wanted it too. He wanted it as much as Arthur. He leaned down, and Merlin met him halfway. Arthur didn't take long to deepen the kiss as Merlin writhed below him, and moaned into Arthur's mouth, around his tongue. 

Were they ever going to stop being like this? So different, yet so similar. Arthur had never felt more in-sync with anyone else in his life before. What he wanted, Merlin vocalised, and what Merlin felt, Arthur could feel it too. He trusted Merlin more than he trusted his own instincts. 

Arthur was determined that even if they hadn't known each other for a very long time, he and Merlin really _belonged_ together. 

It was love that Arthur had felt, in that cave. Love for Merlin. 

It would always be Merlin.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for MERLIN CANON FEST. [LJ post is here](https://merlin-canon.livejournal.com/20104.html).


End file.
